Being a bald woman... my discoveries so far
It's been nearly 3 months since I braved the shave at the end of January. One most definite thing I've learned is that January is a poor time of year to go bald. It's been a voyage of discovery in that respect, including testing out lots of different options until I've finally found the right hat to sleep in. It's been a bit chilly, that's for sure!
If you've been following my journey you might be wondering whether I have regretted doing it. The absolute honest answer is no. I can tell from the wee patches of fluff on my head that I have to cut once a week with a beard trimmer (another new shopping experience) that just because I've taken control of my baldness, the alopecia is continuing to shed. I have some regrowth, but it's all pure white without any pigment at all. It would be very cool indeed if I grew back a full head of pure white hair, but I also know from reading other alopecians' experiences that the white hair is often temporary.
In a weird way, the fact that I'm still losing hair just makes me smug that I took the leap. That's one reason I don't regret it.
Another is that after all those years of bald patch checking, bald patch hiding and regular disatisfaction with my hair, that time is now over. The freedom that continues to bring is honestly exhilarating and worth living with a visible difference for.
The final big reason for having no regrets is the wonderful world of wigs. I'm very lucky to live in Glasgow as it's a bit of a post code lottery on how much support you can get on the NHS for wigs. You can see the two I've got so far in the picture above. I love them! I don't wear them 24/7 and as the weather warms up, perhaps even less so, but to have that choice is amazing. I find it's a bit like making the decision to wear a dress - not a regular occurance for the WFH self employed person that I am. When I put a dress on, I pick a wig to match.
Interestingly, despite being a brunette and often going for reddish/brown hair dye most of my life, I've yet to find a brown or red wig I like. I feel much more suited to blondes and silvers, but there's also a whole world of opportunity in colour and style now available to me I've not discovered yet. I tried everything when I was little to curl my hair in a way that would hold for a day (when I wasn't allowed the ubiquitous 80s and early 90s perm). I failed miserably again and again. I now have curly hair that takes very little upkeep. That is amazing!
It has also been utterly fascinating how people respond to me depending on which wig, hair covering or baldness I've chosen to wear/display.
I've also been thinking a lot about the image of bald women in art and society. It's really problematic. Most bald women are either kick-ass Tank Girl types, ethereal Tilda Swinton types or Roald Dahl's Witches. None of those provide me with particularly good role models! There's a fear of bald women in stories across the board.
Now I know, had I been born in a different century, I reckon there's a high chance my time would have ended at the ducking stool. I'm far too independent and eccentric to have fit in... I don't particularly fit now, but thankfully the world is relatively more accepting these days. However, I feel there is a lot of work to do to normalise bald women so they're not seen as scary, eccentric or weird.
I'm keen to do my bit on this. Blogging here is definitely a part, but there's more to come. Over the next few months I'm looking to have a chat to as many folk as possible about female baldness and identity. I'm particularly interested in women's identity in middle age, because that's where I am, but my explorations won't be limited to that. If this blog has sparked something and you'd like to have a virtual (or real) cuppa to chat about it, I'd be up for that.
Until next time,
Sarah
PS A lot of people ask me if I think my hair will grow back. My honest answer is that I don't know and I'm not actually sure I care right now. I reckon I'll be like this for a few years at least and I'm comfortable in that knowledge.
April 2023
